_SUGGESTIONS FOR CO-PARENTING DURING AND AFTER DOMESTIC LITIGATION:

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AREAS OF PRACTICE

• Divorce
• Paternity
• Child Custody
• Child Support
• Visitation Rights
• Visitation Enforcement
• Modification
• DHS
• Guardianship
• Relocation
• Property Division
• Alimony
• Mediation
• Grandparent's Rights
• Child Abductions
• Military
• Emergency Hearings
• VPO's
• Domestic Abuse
• Contempt
• Step-Parent Adoptions

FATHER'S PARENTAL RIGHTS
LAW CENTER
3428 NW 178th
Edmond, OK 73012
Phone:    405.752.1300
Fax:        405.752.1705

1. Put your child(ren)’s welfare ahead of your conflict with your former spouse. Avoid involving your children in any conflict with your former spouse.

2. Remember that children need two parents. Help your children maintain a posi­tive relationship with their other parent; give them permission to love the other parent.

3. Show respect for the other parent as a parent. Do not make derogatory remarks about the other parent to or in front of the children.

4. Honor your visitation schedule. Always notify the other parent if you will be late or cannot exercise your time with the children. Children may see missed visits, especially without notification, as rejection.

5. If you are the noncustodial parent, do not fill every minute of your custodial time with the children with special activities. They need “at home” time with you.

6. Do not use the children as “message carriers” or spies to glean information about the other parent or to send information to the other parent. Don’t cross-examine the children when they return from the other parent’s home. Don’t use the chil­dren to collect child support.

7. Strive for agreement on major decisions about your child’s welfare and disci­pline, so one parent is not undermining the other.

8. Use common sense in exercising your custodial and visitation rights. Follow this old adage: Do not make a mountain out of a molehill. Follow the golden rule: Do unto them as you would have them do unto you.

9. Do not discuss the case with your children. This is not the children’s divorce. They should not be reading the pleadings or letters from opposing counsel.

10. Think first of your child’s or children’s present and future emotional and mental well-being before acting.

11. Maintain your composure and emotional balance as much as possible, and in talking to yourself (verbally and in your thoughts) remember it’s not the end of the world. Laugh when you can and try to keep a sense of humor. Remember, what your child or children see in your attitude is, to some measure, reflected in theirs.

12. Allow yourself and your children time for readjustment. Convalescence from an emotional operation such as divorce is essential.

13. Continuing anger or bitterness toward your former partner can injure your chil­dren far more than the dissolution itself. The feelings you show are more impor­tant than the words you use.

14. Refrain from voicing criticism of the other parent. This is difficult but absolutely necessary. For a child’s healthy development, he or she must have respect for both parents.

15. Do not force or encourage your child to take sides. To do so encourages frustra­tion, guilt, and resentment.

16. Remember to put your child’s or children’s welfare first — try to meet their emo­tional needs and make sure that, as much as possible, they have an opportunity to develop normally under the circumstances.

17. Remember that contact with the other parent, normally and under the proper cir­cumstances, is necessary and helpful to your children’s development and future welfare.

18. Time spent with your children should be pleasant not only for the children, but for both parents. You should help your children maintain a positive relationship with each parent.

19.  Keep to your schedule and inform the other parent when you cannot keep an appointment. The children may view the failure to keep a commitment to be with them as rejection.

20. You may need to adjust the scheduled time with your children occasionally according to their age, health, and interests.

Domestic litigation tends to bring out the worst in people. Here are suggestions for dealing with your legal adversary:

1. If love is gone, substitute politeness. 

2. Don’t enter into private negotiations without your lawyer’s knowledge and advice. 

3. Don’t make agreements or sign anything without talking to your lawyer first. 

4. Use your lawyers as hired insulators. Learn to say, “Talk to your lawyer and have him or her talk to mine.” 

5. Don’t rub in your legal victories. Losers try to even up. 

6.Consider obtaining a post office box until the conclusion of the case so that your mail will not be intercepted by your ex/spouse.

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                                 "ATTORNEYS HELPING DADS" 

Thank you for visiting our site.  We are the original Father's Parental Rights Law Center, established by Oklahoma Attorneys Jay F. McCown and Tamra A. Spradlin with the mission to give Dads a voice in Court.  Our Attorneys have over 38 years of experience representing Fathers in Family Law litigation including: Divorce; (Contested and Uncontested), Child Custody, Child Support, Visitation, Modification, Visitation Enforcement Issues; DHS cases, Guardianship, Relocation and Paternity.  We understand the concerns of Fathers and will work to protect and preserve your rights to your  child(ren). 

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Cities and Counties we serve:  Our office is conveniently located in Oklahoma City, and we provide legal representation in all 77 counties in the state of Oklahoma.   If you are unable to travel to Oklahoma City to meet with one of our attorneys, we offer a telephone appointment for your convenience. 

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No portion of this site may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the Father's Parental Rights Law Center of Oklahoma.
The information contained within this site is for general information purposes and is not intended to create an attorney/client relationship.  Copyright 2012 All rights are reserved.
3428 NW 178th, Edmond OK 73012 
Jay F. McCown, Tamra A. Spradlin